17 March 2019, Ireland

Hi Everyone

I have the unenviable task of delivering Jon’s eulogy. Joanna asked me, and it is an absolute honour. And a challenge.

How can I distill down into words who Jon was, and what he was, to so many people. And given Jon’s love of language, linguistics and etymology, it’s daunting to try to use my words to talk about him.

But Jon knew that words were about communication, and that that was more important than anything else. He also wasn’t a language snob. So I thought I’d start with a turn of phrase that Jon often used when someone would tell him something that was upsetting. But Jon would use the phrase after some silence - because he also knew the power of silence. Calming silence, companionable silence. To pause and think and feel.

And then he would say; well, fuck!

I am gonna do the very Irish thing and talk about… who are your people and where are they from? Jon was one of four children, and they are here today. Sean, Sarah and Emma. And Jon’s hometown was Kilkeel in Co Down, where he learned to be careful which side of the road he walked on, how he talked, how to talk to different people, and how to sleep through pipe bombs. That’s real!
Jon grew up in a time before the Good Friday agreement, he grew up during the Troubles. He saw communities torn apart, and knew what it was to live with injustice. Jon’s mother was a wonderful woman who had her own struggles. But she encouraged Jon always to read, and much like myself and many others, books were our form of escapism; kept us alive, kept us together.

And then, as his god mother put it - he ran away from home when he was 17, and got himself into college. Jon attended UCD; he was the outspoken and ‘out’, bisexual auditor of the Gay and Lesbian society (which I can gladly say has changed its name to be more inclusive). Jon also went on to be social welfare officer of UCD Students Union. There he worked on building communities of people who were like himself. People who needed to be stood up for, needed to be fought for, needed to be minded.

It was there he met Celine, the wonderful person who shared his sense of social justice, his spirituality, and with whom he had four wonderful children. Sadhbh, Jason, Ciel and Fiach.

By the way, Jon is one of those annoyingly successful people who never graduated and got their degree. Formal education was too slow, too annoying, and not interesting enough for Jon. But such was his skill, at what we called Hackcraft, being an ethical hacker and coder. That skill has been recognised, and he has received industry accolades from many groups, including Microsoft, for his contributions.

There are many people here today who said they first met Jon, or only met Jon, through the internet. It was through the internet and through words and text that I first met Jon. We spent a lot of time in similar online communities; be it the An Fáinne pagan mailing list, or Boards.ie. We were mods of the Pagan forum, and when people said a Sex & Sexuality forum wasn’t possible, Jon and I argued that it was. So we got landed with that too.

When I was due to meet Jon in person finally, on the way to a moot, he had posted ‘how to recognise Jon’ like a computer program. Is the Jon you see bald? No? Not Jon! Is the person you see bald and has glasses? No? Move on! Is the person bald, with glasses and wearing a long trench coat? If not, move on. Go to next person! That’s where we met in person, and we could communicate as much at ease face to face as we did in text.

If you are someone who is here today because Jon crossed your path online, at a protest or anywhere, and something about him resonated with you, and you feel his loss: I am glad you are here today. It was through the friendships that grew up around us in Boards.ie that Jon met Joanna.

I had the absolute honour of being the best man at their wedding. Their sons Oisín and Ruadhán are here with us today. Jon and Joanna’s love reach out beyond themselves. Their home was a welcoming place to so many. It always made me smile, to see the small loving interactions between the two of them. I am going to miss that. Even if it was them being in separate rooms rolling their eyes at each other, at the same time, which I have seen!

Jon was someone who I could talk to about all aspects of my life. We were in all of the not respectable, small, alt communities. Which meant our conversations could be wide ranging, and cover anything and everything. I found in Jon a fellow warrior. He would often say, there are wartime people, and peacetime people. We discussed at length what it is to be a warrior in society when there are no spears to be chucked.

What fighting modern battles looked like, what putting yourself and your body in harm’s way for the sake of others looked like. And so much of his part in the run up to the referendum was doing just that, with the Radical Queers Resist.

But being a warrior isn’t just about fighting. It’s about upholding and embodying the ideals of the community you defend. Which Jon did by being an outspoken, at times belligerent, pagan and a witch. And a bisexual. And if someone had an issue with that, Jon made it clear it was their issue. “This is who I am, deal with it!” And by doing that, he made other people feel like they could stand a little taller, they could be a little more who they are.

We have now gotten to the section of this eulogy where I need to give a content notice. Because speaking honestly about what Jon struggled with, was what he did. And what I am going to do. But we can do this in a way that is not cruel or unkind. So if anyone needs to step out, or find someone to hold a hand, or put in earphones please take a moment to do so now. Because self care - when we live in a society that insists you should not be you, and does not value you - is a radical act of resistance.

For as long as I have known Jon Hanna he suffered from, and struggled with, depression. Jon was also a rape survivor, and struggled with disordered eating. There were times when I would see him and he was getting too thin and we would be concerned, and we would try feed him up. The cost of his happiness and being who he was, loudly, was the impact that it had on his sense of self value.

When you are a warrior who fights, it is your deeds and what you do that have value. And when you are not ‘doing’ or serving your community, it can easily feel that you have little worth. I know this because I suffer from it too, and it was something that Jon and I would talk about.

So quiet times are hard for people like me and Jon. When there is a war on, there are things that need doing. When things are quiet, and you need to spend time doing self care and healing and resting - it is very hard to do.

It might sound silly, and I know that there might be people who might not get it, but that can be the biggest struggle. And that can often go unseen.

So I look around the room today, to see so many people in so many communities that Jon reached out and effected, especially Bi+ Ireland where Jon was a coordinator. These are supportive communities that Jon and I would have dearly loved and needed, when we were coming out ourselves.

Jon’s pro-choice activism goes right the way back to the X case referendum in 1992 and his work within Student Union activism… when it was still so taboo to be pro-choice in Ireland, he and I were stridently so. It was an absolute delight and joy for him to see the pro-choice movement in Ireland grow, when groups like Parents for Choice were formed. We could have conversations with more people than just us!

Jon also got involved with Mara Kleins Clark's wonderful organisation, the Abortion Support Network. For Jon was one who believed that unjust laws should be broken.

Jon’s coding work brought him international connections and the regard of his peers, and his passion and interest in witchcraft did the same. There are witches all over the globe who enjoyed his wit, wisdom and discussions. These are his brothers and sisters in the craft, including those here today who are facilitating his funeral rites.

He knew the reach of his words and his deeds, but he was very humble about it.

“No one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away. Until the clock he wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finish its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested. The span of someone’s life… is only the core of their actual existence.” Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man.

The crop that Jon Hanna sowed in being uncompromisingly and unapologetically himself, is the effects you see in each other. Every time someone stands a bit straighter, feels they can put on a badge, or hug each other in support. That is the effect that Jon has had.

We’re all here today, from so many communities, brought together because of Jon. I will ask that you all look after each other and yourself, and if you can, carry forward and do the work that still needs to be done. And I am gonna end with another Terry Pratchett quote, and I ask that maybe you join me, and raise your fist in solidarity.