Daniel Day Lewis, Jack Nicholson & Robin Williams: 'It's pretty much been a Buddhist evening for me', Critics Choice - 2003

17 January 2003, Los Angeles, California, USA

Salma Hayek: There's been a tie. I swear to God. Okay. So this is what they explained to me. Nobody believes me, but I swear to God, there is a tie. I'm going to say the first name, this wonderful person can come up here and say thank you. And then I will say the second name. So there's going to be so much dramatic tension in this moment. Daniel Day-Lewis from Gangs of New York.

Daniel Day Lewis...: Thank you to the broadcast critics. Harvey. If I keep thanking you in public, people will think we're having an affair, but nonetheless, if you're choosing sides in the playground before a scrap, I would like to have Harvey Weinstein and Graham King on my side.

I've seen wonderful performances this year from actors and actresses, truly wonderful. And most of all, it's a lovely thing to be included amongst them. My supremely talented and sweet and charming colleagues, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Cameron Diaz. Thank you. Both of you. And it would be remiss, I think, if I didn't also thank the, well Eminem and the patron saint of shoemakers. Thank you very much.

Salma Hayek: And Jack Nicholson, About Schmidt.

Jack Nicholson: Well, I don't usually get this baked when it's on television, but I really, this is what's so great about this because my speech was to say, look, it is on television. Robin, would you come up and give... Would you give the funniest acceptance speech I ever gave?

Robin Williams: What Jack is trying to say here is he so happy to be here, he could drop a log. Right now, he wants to thank Jeffrey Katzenberg for the lens.

Jack Nicholson: And the seats.

Robin Williams: And the seats, and way to go. Hopefully Shaq kicked his ass tonight, but Jack, say it more because you're dressed up tonight and wearing the sunglasses inside works even better.

We also want to thank the set decorator for putting in the big balls for the last two minutes of the show, just to really put people at home. I want to thank also the Irish people for right now. Thank all of you for being out there right now, because if it wasn't for all the Irish, you wouldn't have anything working in New York at all. Right now. God bless. And he scares the fuck out of me right now. Tell him Jack, tell him like it is buddy. Cause you're the Buddha of showbusiness. Take it home.

[foreign language 00:04:36].
Jack Nicholson: Not so bad.
Robin Williams: Great set of hands.
Jack Nicholson: Take it easy.

Robin Williams: I want to thank you for getting into that dress, don't let her go.
Jack Nicholson: Until he got here, I couldn't think about anything but spanking Jillian Hall. I don't know what happened. They sent this home to me at night. I just thought, Oh boy, this is great. That's all, I would take it all.
Robin Williams: Like let's do that for the deaf now. [mimes sexual act]
Jack Nicholson: Thank you. This is what happens when you give the Irish free drinks. Very dignified maniac. John C. Riley. I was so afraid when he came up for ensemble, I thought he stayed on the stage for the last time. These are really supposed to be wonderful occasions. This is a wonderful occasion.

Robin Williams: How much money have we raised?

Jack Nicholson: I thought it would be so safe because of the way Jennifer Jason Leigh Alexander started off. I can't believe how many times he's made me laugh tonight. You know? And then I thought, well, I can't be that way unless I get Robin up because I'm going to be going after Steven, who actually got one laugh tonight.

We in About Schmidt are humiliated already tonight because we don't know if we are a comedy or a drama. I got so nervous about it. What I really didn't intend to do is say, I really wanted to say how grateful I am to the film critics for honouring Robin.

Robin Williams: Yeah, thanks for nothing. It's a tie with three people! That's okay, buddy. I just want to thank you. It's so nice to have nothing leaving here. I don't have to thank anybody. You pretty much said fuck you, Robin. Thank you, I hope that's televised. Thank you Jack.

Jack Nicholson: We're going to stay for a long time. I know you think this is going to be easy, but it's not. E Entertainment set the tone for me, what the man said I thought, well, my kids have liked nothing I've ever done. And they'll like this show tonight, they're going to be crazy about the way we are kind because of tone that it can set. But About Schmidt was a great job for me. I want to have to even, I know, it's still longer.

Have you ever left your home with like, does a shadow of dread ever pass over any of you? Because you know, on nights like tonight...

Robin Williams: Jack's getting into therapeutic issues now.

Jack Nicholson: And Alexander Payne and Kathy Bates.

Robin Williams: For those of you at home, Jack is getting ready to bring out a five iron.

Salma Hayek: Since they didn't give you an award, you can have... both of their names and the tie.
Robin Williams: Thank you, I want to thank Jack Nicholson and Daniel Day Lewis for giving me this piece of paper. It has their names on it, not mine. And I'm glad to be left out of this incredible group. I want to thank Jack for he is to me the greatest actor and Daniel Day Lewis, the greatest actor, and I'm just a hairy actor. And it's been a wonderful evening for me to walk away with nothing, coming here with no expectations, leaving here with no expectations. It's pretty much been a Buddhist evening for me. Thank you.
Daniel Day Lewi...: It goes without saying, my love and all my thanks to you, Marsh and Scorsese.

Mike Love (The Beach Boys): "Now a lot of people are going to come out of this room tonight and say, 'Mike Love is crazy!'", Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction - 1988

20 January 1988., Waldorf Astoria, New York City, New York, USA

You heard from Cousin Brian, the reason we started making music, the reason that kept us going, and it sounds corny, but you can hear it in the harmonies, those of you who are musicians. And the reason people love the Beach Boys is because we love harmony.

We love music and we love harmony. And we love all people too.

When I went to high school, my cousin Brian and I would jump over the fence, ditch class and we’d go surfing. Now we couldn’t surf very good, but it was the whole lifestyle thing.

We would listen to the music, the R & B music of the time, and some of our favourite records were the doo-wop type of deals. There you again with harmony.

And I think it's wonderful to be here tonight, but I also think it's sad that there are other people who aren't here tonight. And, uh, those are the people who have passed away, those are the obvious ones. But the other not-so-obvious ones are people like Paul McCartney, who couldn't be here tonight because he's in a lawsuit with Ringo and Yoko. That's what he sent a telegram to some, uh, high priced attorney in this room, you know. And that's a bummer, because we're talking about harmony, right, and the world. If we can't get it together in America and in England, and harmony within our groups. I mean, believe it, you can believe it the Beach Boys have their own "interstescene" or whatever you call it, squabbles. But that's a bummer when Ms. Ross can't make it, you know? The Beach Boys have continued to do, about, we did about 180 performances last year. I'd like to see the Mop-Tops match that! I'd like to see Mick Jagger get out on this stage and do I Get Around versus Jumpin' Jack Flash, any day now.

Now a lot of people are going to come out of this room tonight and say, 'Mike Love is crazy!' Well they've been saying that for years. There aint nothing new about that.

But what I’m talking about is, forget this room. The United States is just 6 percent of the population of the world. That’s why I came here tonight with Muhammad Ali, Mohammad! Salaam-Alaikum! I didn’t here you say ‘alaikum shalom’. Alaikum shalom, he said it.

Okay I don’t care what anybody in this room thinks. You know when they were talking about ... this guy with the guitar. You know, Arlo’s father? Woody Guthrie ... yeah. Well I knew that, because my father used to sing some of those songs.  And my mother, the Wilson, Emily Wilson, first cousin of Brian, Carl and the late Dennis, the surfer of the group. When they first came to California they were a Kansas dustbowl Swedes who didn’t have enough money to rent or buy a house , they lived in tents, on the beach in Hunnington California when they first came out. And now we're sitting in this room with all this glitterati glissando. All six percent of us. And we're hassling, we're fighting, interstescene squabbles, you know, messing around. 

What I want to see is this whole room recognise that there is one Earth here, and I want us to do something fantastic with all this talent. and all this wonderful spirit and soul.

And I'd like to see some people kick out the jams, and I challenge The Boss to get up on stage and jam. (during Mike's pause, someone in the house band plays the theremin line of "Good Vibrations" during the crowds tepid response)

I wanna see Billy Joel, see if he can still tickle ivories, lemmee see.

I know Mick Jagger won't be here tonight, he's gonna have to stay in England. But I'd like to see us in the Coliseum and he at Wembley Stadium because he's always been chickenshit to get on stage with the Beach Boys.